You don't know who you are after undergoing an operation called ECT. Your brain has been induced by electrical current to reach the convulsion threahold, and hence you're having amnesia because of the side effect. Don't be panic ... To know who the person in mirror really is, finish reading this:
My name is Ooi Zhi Hao, a.k.a. Reno, and I'm having bipolar. Right now, I don't remember who I was because I'm having amnesia. Doctors told me the amnesia is going to be just transient, so don't worry too much. I agreed to undergo electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) because I've been tired of trying the correct medication combination, and most of all, I want to recover fast enough so that I can function as a medical student as soon as possible.
So far, I've hardly made the decision of repeating year. It sounds scary and awful, but this seemed to be the only choice. I was advised by my psychiatrist and psychologist to take a break because I need a pit stop from the daily stress I've been handling. So, don't be desperate when the final decision comes that I've to repeat my second year.
Talking about personality, there's no better way than reading what I've been posting in this blog. Sometimes, I got to be very inspirational because of the maniac phase. Other times, I've been depressed to the point that I want to kill myself. That was me, who was suffering from bipolar. I was been convinced that ECT is going to make me better. So, ask myself now, am I gettin better after the ECT?
If the answer is yes, the way in front of me is "rebirth". Now, I can literally leave the past behind me and be another new person.
If the answer is no, the only option next is "death". I don't want to end up bipolar like other bipolar I saw ... not any chance at all. ECT is the last option ... there's no more hope after ECT.
These two paths lay in front of me is the choice I have to make. I pre-programmed myself into this way so that I can continue to live like a normal human. I'll forget about this right now, but this blog function as a reminder to remind me of doing what I promised myself to do. So, good luck.
4 comments:
Honestly, I've been following every single blog u've posted. I just wanna know how u have been doing recently, n i wan to let u know that u still hav me as ur friend. I'm looking forward to the day when we can go out for movie again, just us. Good luck,n take care.
Love,
Blue
ECT can heal and help. I wish you the best.
jia you zhi hao
i hope everything will get better for u
am I gettin better after the ECT ?...
Don't doubt for it... now is time to change ur FORCUS...!!
U r realizing ECT can't promise u can getting better.
Definitely u must realise the source of bipolar.
Where is it come from....???
Emotion, attitude, life style...???
How to u appreciate to my kindness comment...!!!
If u r starting to appreciate something...
Congratulation...!! means that u r start to realise the source.
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